In life, there will be times when dreams get shattered. When that one thing you blindly believed was going to work out doesn’t. Most of us have been there, in a place outside our comfort zone. A place where we feel lost and lack the energy and self-belief needed to start again. But fear not: This is part of your journey, and you have to travel along that path to come to better roads. In situations like this, you can give up, dwell on it, or learn from the failure and pursue your dream somewhere else. The events we bring upon ourselves are necessary in order to learn important lessons.

Keep smiling

Take as an example a failed relationship, or a relationship where one party walked away, leaving the other person in limbo and worse, still in love. What can you do? Physical pain usually has a cure, but there is no remedy for a broken heart. No medicine will make that kind of pain go away. Usually it takes time, but the period it takes for it to heal can feel eternal and leave scars that will undoubtedly change the person into a more skeptical one where matters of love are concerned. In cases like this, the main thing is to stop feeling unhappy with yourself and cease trying to get the attention of those who have hurt you. Your task is to move forward. Why pursue people who don’t really care about you? If someone treats you badly, there is something wrong with them, not you and if someone doesn’t want to be with you, would you really want to keep insisting so that person changes her/his mind?

The video above will hopefully inspire you to be yourself and pick yourself up after being knocked down, even if the blow you received makes it difficult for you to stand on your feet again. It is important to have something you love to fall back on, something that will give you courage and inspire you to believe again. My life salvation has been philosophy. Since I started studying the subject as a teenager, I have learned to be stronger. Philosophers live according to a set of values they believe in. The book that first enlightened me as to this was an old copy of Goethe’s Faust. That book taught me to accept myself as I am — because trying to change who you are is like trying to stop a river from following its course. It’s unnatural!

Don’t dwell on hurt. Don’t victimise

There was also a book that taught me to never be a follower or follow the crowd. Always try to be the seagull that aims to fly high and sees beyond what the eyes show you. Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach was just the reading I needed as a 16-year-old to find my voice in life. Ironically, I recently saw a flock of seagulls flying low together; afterwards, when they landed, one of them immediately took off again. This time she was flying on her own. That is the seagull we should try to emulate — the one that is always the first to take off again, even after a crash.

The eyes of a woman can see right through and into your soul

All pictures by Tim Ward , Model: Amancay Tapia aka The Lady of the World

This article and video has been published as well in the Huffington Post USA edition