Today I’m sharing with you a short film I made about a touchy subject: abusive relationships. They are usually relationships where one person has all the power, and the abuse can be physical, emotional or psychological.

“I Love You Not” has a positive message. Sometimes you have to take back control and leave a relationship that is hurting you. The freedom and peace of mind can be worth it, and leaving can be the first step towards regaining control of your life.

The film can also speak to those who find themselves in relationships where one person makes all the effort, while the other takes it for granted. You may find yourself thinking that you are somehow lucky to have this person in your life, and that makes it acceptable for them to behave in ways that wouldn’t be acceptable in a healthy relationship.

 

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Santorini, Greece. Alone time could be the time of your life

Because of my short films about women and the articles I’ve written, I’ve been invited a few times to talk about relationships. I really have no advice other than this: it is always better “out” than “in” when “in” means feeling down, alone or unappreciated.

If you’ve discussed these issues with your partner and all you get in return is indifference, sometimes the lack of an answer is the answer. You can’t build a healthy relationship on one person’s constant effort while the other simply doesn’t want to engage.

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Santorini, Greece. Women we can and we know how to be alone.

We are right now dealing with relationships of the digital age, where a social media like or comment can make you feel exuberant, or a message can make your day simply because you’ve finally heard from the person you desperately like.

But do you really want to spend your time waiting for someone to appear, disappear and reappear whenever they feel like it? If someone’s attention has become something you constantly wait for, perhaps it’s time to step back and ask yourself what the relationship is actually giving you.

Give your heart some peace and stop waiting for someone who only shows up when it suits them.

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Waiting for the sun not for the phone to ring! , in fact who needs a phone in a holiday?

Another relationship that can be heading for trouble is one where you’re scared to say what you really feel because you don’t want to upset your partner — or worse, because you’re afraid they might leave you.

I know many women who are afraid to tell their boyfriends that they would like commitment and eventually a family. If that is what you want, it is better to be clear about it. You can’t force someone to want the same things you do, and you don’t want to spend years in a relationship where both people have completely different goals.

You also cannot change people. You either accept someone as they are, or you accept that the relationship may not work for you.

 

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Trust your gut. Santorini, Greece

There comes a moment in life when you no longer want the experience, the drama or the uncertainty. You simply want a healthy and happy relationship.

You deserve a relationship where you can be yourself, communicate openly and feel appreciated. And sometimes, in order to find that, you have to stop trying to turn a broken plate into a brand new one. That said, what I’ve written here is also based on my experiences in my early 30s. I have no idea how I will feel about any of this ten or twenty years from now.